Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate. My Dearest Divya Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options (a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks 1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because: (a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really ... am I doing it? 2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because: (a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile 3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because: (a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song 4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because: (a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know 5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish, this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... . He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ." Don't mess with intelligent people.

My wife is an ENT Surgeon while I am a Gynaecologist. (In fact, we had nearly called our hospital The 'Holey' Family hospital but are now waiting for our son to be a Proctologist and marry an urologist.) This can lead to some complications, as I recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner phoned me up and told me that she as sending a patient of hers for an abortion. Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal of the wax to my wife. I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she  was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our  hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax  removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation  that I had with the patient. "Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a  feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax.&q

Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father -in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father -in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born. The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl. Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do. If he writes "the watch has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son. If he writes " watch has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened. But being a very intelligent person, he finds a solution and sends the telegram. Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads "The watch has arrived, but the pendul

These are dirty yet amusing pickup lines. Be careful while using because rattling them before descent girls may be injurious to your health. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. I love every bone in your body - especially mine. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine. Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long. Damn, you're hot. Wanna go back to my place? I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead? If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can m

During her Presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton goes to a school to talk about the world. After she was done, she offers question time. One little boy, Johny, holds his hand up and asks her: “I have three questions: first - what happened to your medical health care plan? second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? third - what happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?” Immediately the recess bell rang. So, it was decided to resume after the break was over. After the break: Hillary says, “Anybody with a question?” Another boy, Samby, puts his hand up. Hillary points him out. Samby: “I have five questions: first - what happened to your medical health care plan? second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? third - what happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? fourth - why did the bell ring 20 minutes early? fifth - what happened to Johny?”

When you’ve got to walk out, you’ve got to walk out. But while doing it, don’t be an emotional infant Of the 50 ways to leave your lover, Texting, ‘Make a new plan,’ is not the most sensitive. You would think singer/model John Mayer would show more sensitivity than dump Jennifer Aniston with a text message saying, “That’s it – the end.” But apparently, that’s what he did. However, you have to admit that’s better than announcing your decision to move on on national TV, like Matt Damon. Rumour has it that he told then girlfriend Minnie Driver that it was over by announcing it on Oprah Winfrey’s show. More recently, Olympic swimmer and model Amanda Beard publicly expressed her opinion about super-athlete Michael Phelps by saying, “Come on, I have really good taste.” Breaking up (or declining a prospect gracefully, as with Beard) is never easy, but with careful planning and a bit of sensitivity, you can lessen the trauma of heartbreak. PREPARE THE GROUND If the case is such that one person