Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time. Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story f

A policeman was testing three Singh brothers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he thought of conducting a quick test. He shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The first Singh answers, 'That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!' The policeman says, 'Well...uh.. .that's because the picture I showed is his side profile.' Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The second Singh smiles and says, 'Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!' The policeman angrily responds, 'What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can co

A man is driving in his car on a road. A woman is driving in her car on the same road, but in the opposite direction. When they pass each other, the man opens his window and shouts to the woman: DONKEY ! The woman immediately responds: Monkey ! Both continue their separate ways, the woman being very satisfied with her quick and smart reaction. And just as she reaches the first curve in the road … Moral: "Women never really understand what men are trying to say to them."

Normally I don't blog pictures. But could not resist to add this fantastic one. The question that haunted every second man is why girls stare at other girls and not boys as much. The picture says everything. And this is why boys don't stare at each other. They simply exchange 'hi' and nothing else.

This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you . Hey .......(Employee) , Incentive nahi mila, Bura Huva Salary cut rahi hai, Bura Huva Extra shift hogi, who bhi bure hogi. Hey Arjuna, Tum pitchla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo, Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo, Bus apni salary main santusta raho.... Tumhari pocket se kya gaya , Jo rote ho? Jo aaya tha sab uper ki income thee. ;-) Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee. Hey Dhananjaya, Tum NE aisa kaun as response diya, Jo tumhara tha. Sab kuch, 'cut-copy-paste' ka khel tha. Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the.. Jo experience mila, yahi mila... Jo support diya company ke liye... Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo. Jo system aaj tumhara hai.... Who kal kisi aur ka tha..... Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga.. Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho.. Hey Kaunteya, Yahi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai. "Kyo wayarth chinta karte ho, kiss

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a pe

In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main-streamed into regular schools. At a Crush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the Perfection in my son Shaya Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?" The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query. "I believe," the father answered, that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child." He then told the following story about his son, Shaya: One af

A Marwadi having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish! Marwadi : I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home! God : Damn !!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's ** Marwadis, a community in India is considered to have high business acumen.

40 Tips for a Better Life 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. 3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following: 'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.' 5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. 6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year. 7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. 9. Dream more while you are awake. 10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories. 11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 12. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk

Doctor Certified Certified that Mr./Miss _____________, working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours. It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. Which can directly lead to heart strokes. In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient. Sd/- Dr. Impatient Cyber Clinic

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the ci