Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan . How did they manage? To kee

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game. The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice a versa." Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep. The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500." This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning. There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. He saw a pack of stones to pass time. He started throwing the stone into the sea. While having the last stone in the hand, the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond. He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea. Have you thrown something important just like that?

In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that Valentine's Day originated hundreds of years ago, in India, and to top it all, in the state of Gujarat !!! It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels, continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis). One fine day, it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Patelani, having had enough "torture" by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a Velan (rolling pin to make chapattis). Yes....the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him.... only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened. This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning "chapatti-ed" husbands all over Anand and Amdavad. The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to beha

One day Maths teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again.. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had acco

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss does not do it, he is busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative. When I please my boss, I am apple polishing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating . When I make a mistake, I'am an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When I am out of the office, I am wandering around. When my boss is out of the office, he's on business. When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick. When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill. When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview . When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked. When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Afghanistan - Kabul Albania - Tirane Algeria - Algiers Andorra - Andorra la Vella Angola - Luanda Antigua and Barbuda - Saint John's Argentina - Buenos Aires Armenia - Yerevan Australia - Canberra Austria - Vienna Azerbaijan - Baku The Bahamas - Nassau Bahrain - Manama Bangladesh - Dhaka Barbados - Bridgetown Belarus - Minsk Belgium - Brussels Belize - Belmopan Benin - Porto-Novo Bhutan - Thimphu Bolivia - La Paz (administrative), Sucre (judicial) Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo Botswana - Gaborone Brazil - Brasilia Brunei - Bandar Seri Begawan Bulgaria - Sofia Burkina Faso - Ouagadougou Burundi - Bujumbura Cambodia - Phnom Penh Cameroon - Yaounde Canada - Ottawa Cape Verde - Praia Central African Republic - Bangui Chad - N'Djamena Chile - Santiago China - Beijing Colombia - Bogota Comoros - Moroni Congo, Republic of the - Brazzaville Congo, Democratic Republic of the - Kinshasa Costa Rica - San Jose Cote d'Ivoire - Yamoussoukro (official), Abidjan (de facto) Croatia - Za

Afghanistan: Dari Persian, Pashtu (both official), other Turkic and minor languages Albania: Albanian (Tosk is the official dialect), Greek Algeria: Arabic (official), French, Berber dialects Andorra: Catalán (official), French, Castilian, Portuguese Angola: Portuguese (official), Bantu and other African languages Antigua and Barbuda: English (official), local dialects Argentina: Spanish (official), English, Italian, German, French Armenia: Armenian, Yezidi, Russian Australia: English, native and other languages Austria: German (official nationwide), Slovene, Croatian, Hungarian (each official in one region) Azerbaijan: Azerbaijani, Russian, Armenian Bahamas: English (official), Creole (among Haitian immigrants) Bahrain: Arabic, English, Farsi, Urdu Bangladesh: Bangla (official), English Barbados: English Belarus: Belorussi, Russian Belgium: Dutch (Flemish), French, German (all official) Belize: English (official), Spanish, Mayan, Garifuna (Carib), Creole Benin: French (official), Fon,

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.' - George W. Bush 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.' - George W. Bush 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.' - George W. Bush 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.' - George W. Bush 'The future will be better tomorrow.' - George W. Bush 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.' - George W. Bush 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.' - George W Bush 'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe . We are a part of Europe ' - George W. Bush 'Public speaking is very easy.' - George W. Bush 'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.' - George W. Bush 'I have opinions of my own -- stro

Human mind has an uncanny ability to work in the most idiotic ways when its not being used in any "constructive" activity. I prefer calling it as a 'condition of a confused brain'. Unfortunately, most of us suffer from it, at some point or other, usually on many occasions in a single day. Today, me and my friends got this condition for a few hours. we decided to talk on a relatively simple topic, which is the side effects of being a girl. my journo instincts came forward and i grabbed my pen to note down all the logical side effects which we discussed. here are some of the side effects of being a girl, in no particular order. People expect that you should like pink.... Boys think you will be extremely impressed with just a bunch of half-dead roses.... You hate giggling but still cant control yourself from giggling.... You tend to gossip about nothing in particular.... When you realise that you are gossiping, you tend to get away with it, because, everyone knows that g

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea. He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood. Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?" about twenty five people stood up. Then he smiled and said, "Well all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party.”

Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake Thank

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.   A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work. The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage. He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right? The owner said it was Rs. 2500. "Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do? "He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000", responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters." The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied, "Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer." Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000." Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was. The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything." But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

I am very happy to be here with you. It is always wonderful to be with young people. The funny thing about life is that you realize the value of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realize the importance of youth.At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. I hope you will find them useful when you plan your own career and life. The first thing I have learnt is that we must always begin with our strengths. From the earliest years of our schooling, everyone focuses on what is wrong with us. There is an imaginary story of a rabbit. The rabbit was enrolled in a rabbit school. Like all rabbits, it could hop very well but could not swim. At the end of the year, the rabbit got high marks in hopping but failed in swimming. The parents were concerned. They said, "Forget about hopping. You are anyway good at it. Concentrate on