Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Good story... One day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet height, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't need to pay!" and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was.! Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that and so forth.! This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and...

During a Robbery in Hong Kong, the Bank Robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The Money belongs to the Government. Your Life belongs to You." Everyone in the Bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the Conventional Way of Thinking. When a Lady lay on the Table provocatively, the Robber shouted at her: "Please be Civilized! This is a Robbery and not a Rape!" This is called "Being Professional” . Focus only on What You are Trained to do!  When the Bank Robbers returned Home, the Younger Robber (MBA Trained) told the older Robber (who has only completed Year 6 in Primary School): "Big Brother, let's count how much we got." The older Robber rebutted and said: "You are very Stupid. There is so much Money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV News will tell us how much we Robbed from the Bank!" This is called "Experience”  Nowadays, experience is more Im...

Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of Four Underwear you asked for." The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor...  "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be 'Ford Endeavour'!!"

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door…. A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet. Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!! Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that? Salesman: - Why Madam? Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!! MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."..

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’ Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’ After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’ ‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’ Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

An old soldier sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old combat jacket and boots and ordered a coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the soldier and asked, "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life in jungles and mountains. I've taken part in several wars and insurgencies. I've taught more than 1000 officers and several thousand troops about combat. What are you?" She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old soldier and asked: "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "I always thought I was. But I just ...