Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Engineer to Team Leader: "We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, no body in our company knows the formulation in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects." Team Leader to Project Manager: "This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."     Project Manager to General Manager: "This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my ...

How guys select the girl they want to marry A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.   He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.   The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.   She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.   The man is impressed.   The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.   She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.   Again, the man is impressed.   The third invests the money in the stock market.   She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint accou...

   1. Compare yourself frequently with others.    2. Belittle yourself.    3. Don’t believe in dreams, you think dreams only happen when you are sleeping.    4. Say yes to everybody and everything.    5. Work in a job you hate.    6. Complain about everything.    7. Complain about everything to your friends.    8. Suspicious of everything.    9. Counting your troubles.   10. Harbor negative thoughts.   11. Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.   12. Constantly think about the past.   13. Constantly think about the future.   14. Focusing on what you lack.   15. Focusing on what you don’t want.   16. Need others to validate you constantly.   17. Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.   18. Being jealous easily.   19. Always envy others and never grateful of what you have instead.   20. Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.   21. Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.   22. Think the world revolves around you.   23. Co...

Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin? Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking. Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business? Student: Father-in-Law! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u. After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai. Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai? Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to...

One day a girl licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong.. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!! There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist... This is a true story reported on CNN. Andy Hume wrote: Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the....things that float around in those gum applicator trays.. I haven't licked an ...

Officially, it’s “daylight saving time,” not “daylight savings time.” But don’t feel bad if you thought there was a final “s” on “saving”; far more people Google the incorrect phrase than the correct one. Daylight saving time has mixed effects on people’s health. Transitions into and out of DST can disturb people’s sleeping patterns, for example, and make them more restless at night. Night owls tend to be more bothered by the time changes than people who like mornings, Finnish researchers concluded last year. There’s a spike in heart attacks during the first week of daylight saving time, according to another study published last year. The loss of an hour’s sleep may make people more susceptible to an attack, some experts say. When daylight saving time ends in the fall, heart attacks briefly become less frequent than usual. People are safer drivers during daylight hours, and researchers have found that DST reduces lethal car crashes and pedestrian strikes. In fact, a study concluded tha...

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student, "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor, "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student, "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam." Professor, "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?" Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?" Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers, "Sir, you are 63 years old and...