Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

My mother used to ask me: "What is the most important part of the body?" Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." Mother said, "No Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon." Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes." Mother looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind." Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge. Over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child." Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hur...

I pass through this very intersection every morning with so much ease. Today, the pace is skewed. There is a sense of disarray as motorists try to push past each other through the traffic light. The light here always tests their agility because if you miss the green, you have to wait for another three minutes before it lets you go past again. Those three minutes become eternity for an otherwise time-insensitive nation on the move. Today, there is a sense of chaos here. People are honking, skirting each other and rushing past. I look out of my window to seek the reason. It is not difficult to find because it is lying strewn all over the place. A tomato seller’s cart has overturned. There are tomatoes everywhere and the rushing motorists are making pulp of it. The man is trying to get his cart back on its four rickety wheels and a few passersby are picking up what they can in an attempt to save him total loss. Though symbolic in the larger scheme of things, it is not a substantive gestur...

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It. Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave." This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days." Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.." From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave." Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave" An incident of a leave letter: ...

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent - education ruined me. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say.......... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect......... so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ? Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Save water. Shower with your girl friend. Love thy neighbour. But don't get caught. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wis...

On walking into the factory, the Head Manager noticed a young boy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?" Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash then gave it to the young man and said:"Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months 'salary', now GET OUT and don't come back". The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner: "And that applies for everybody in this company". He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?" To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery man, Sir..."

1. Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. 4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby. 5. Marketing manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. 6. Resource optimization team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. 7. Documentation team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. 8. Quality auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. 9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 10. HR manager is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months.

Rupa was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call from her husband Kartik, Rupa: "Hello, yes Kartik". Kartik: "Rupa, can you open my gmail and get a print out of the mail from that US Consultant I forgot to take it in my office" Rupa: "Yes, I can, I need your password" Kartik: "jeni22091980" Rupa: "Ok fine" She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now. JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm... She decides not to discuss this with Kartik. She simply opens her own mail box and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthik1976" and leaves for home! MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!