Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing inline, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up in side of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horri...

A story told by an IIM professor regarding the side effects of systematic working :- After completion of Lanka War Hanumanji was enjoying LTA with his friends, he got an email on his laptop from Accounts requesting him to clear his dues before 31st March related with his tour to bring Sanjivani Booti for Laxmanji. He ignored the first mail. But after 3 - 4 reminders in two days time & receiving a call on CUG Mobile from Accounts Dept., he flew to Ayodhya canceling his leave. He submitted :- TA, DA Bill, Bills of Sushen Vaidya, Hospital Charges for getting injured by Bharatji during his travel at Ayodhya, Cost of Sanjeevani Booti Transport charges. (1) Where is your tour sanction report? Asked the Administration Dept. Hanumanji got it done by requesting to concerned officials 2 or 3 times. (2) Hanumanji claimed T.A. bill for air travel but he was given only second class sleeper charges & all other expenses on medical, Sanjeevani Booti, Fee of Sushen Vaidya were not reimbu...

Once upon a time there was a little tree. He sat in the soil and danced in the wind. And he looked around and saw the other trees. "Man, they sure look taller than me," said the little tree. "Probably it's the soil," he mumbled. So he lifted up his roots and moved over to the part of the garden which he thought had better soil. A few weeks later the little tree looked up again. Probably, it's the sunshine "Damn," he cursed under his breath,"the other trees are growing taller than me. Probably it's the sunshine. Let me move into where I get more sunshine." And so the little tree moved from point to point, always picking up his roots. Always moving. Always searching for the right soil, water, fertiliser, sunshine and other more favourable conditions. And he stayed stunted The trees that stayed in one place built strong roots. Their barks grew solid. Their branches soared. And the little tree stayed little. Are you a little tree? A tree ...

1. We get to be pregnant, 2. We can cry and not get made fun of. 3. We can be emotional and blame it on that time of the month. 4. If we don't know anything about cars, it's okay. 5. We get to decorate our homes and can almost entirely ignore our other-half's input. 6. We got off the Titanic first. 7. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses. 8. Our boy friend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours. 9. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 10. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on their life insurance. 11. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 12. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 13. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the point). 14. Taxis stop for us. 15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 16. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 17. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay....

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. ...

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum: Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy? I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions: 1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym) 2) Which age gro...

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it. Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman. Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap -- even men who hate baths. Were there no women, men might live like gods. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. A beautiful woman is the hell of the soul, the purgatory of the purse, and the paradise of the eyes. Anatomy is destiny. The great question -- which I have not been able to answe...