Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Here are few selected best out of office response mails. 1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team. 4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you...

When you are in office your boss always say you something. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. But you have to develop a skill to know what he is trying to say. Below is a quick guide that will help you understand the hidden meaning of your boss' statements. 1.”We will do it” means “You will do it” 2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you” 3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same” 4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!” 5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do” 6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied” 7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later” 8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time” 9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The projec...

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back !"

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day. The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the...

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is except Mike. When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?" "My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."