Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.” The man just said, “We'll see.” A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses. The man and his son corraled all 21 horses. All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!” The man just said, “We'll see.” One of the wild horses kicked the man's only son, breaking both his legs. All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.” The man just said, “We'll see.” The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer's son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!” The man just said...

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases. On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cle...

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just...

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. Behind an able man there are always other able men. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody. To walk only on sunny days is to never reach one’s destination. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown. You cannot prevent th...

Rutali married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Rutali's mother gave her a  newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount. Mother: 'Rutali, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriagelife. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your newlife, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.' Rutali shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can bemade. This was what they did after certain time: - 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage - 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Rutali - 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali - 15 Apr: Rs..2000, Rutali got pregnant - 1 Jun: Rs.100...

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!): I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.    The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not m...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.   He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was fa...

I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.   I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I  have made her heart cry for 3 years.   She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running of...

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. The father believed in encouragement. This young man was the smallest of the class when he entered high school. His father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The co...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy  was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a  poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face  her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. The husband just said "I Love You Darling" The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There...

"Lets go for a walk", said Rahul. "Yippee. Lets go", said Swetha, almost jumping out of her seat. It was yet another boring day in the Mysore training institute. Dusk was breaking in. Swetha had already taken two breaks since lunch. Nevertheless, she had been anticipating Rahul's invitation for another break. Rahul and Swetha had known each other for the last couple of months. They had been together since the training days. People knew them as the best of friends. Rahul, the regular T-D-H type, who spoke with a heavy Bengali accent, was a popular flirt in the DC. On the other hand, Swetha was a chubby sweet little girl, who was always on the lookout for sorrow souls. They enjoyed being in each other's company. Swetha would disclose all his crushes to Rahul, and Rahul would always be seen taking classes from Swetha, on how to impress a girl in 24 hours. Rahul had helped Swetha to forget her 7-year-old single lane relationship and Swetha would see to it that R...

Number 10 The waiting game You called her and, although you usually don't do this (or at least you shouldn't), you left a message for her to call you back. Hours or even days may pass before she returns your call. She's biding her time because she doesn't want to look too eager or too interested. Although she's interested in you, she doesn't want to risk chasing you away by appearing clingy. What you should do: After a few days, you could call back to make sure she received the message, but after this point, it's up to her to follow up. If she doesn't, take the hint. Number 9 The bait game The "I think I look fat in these pants... do you?" scenario is a tricky situation. Asking for your opinion is important to her; she wants to make sure that you find her desirable. But by framing the question as an effort to validate her own opinion, she's baiting you into jamming your foot into your mouth. What you should do: Don't take the bait. Look...

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce. 2. Give sincere Salaams. 3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel. 4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere. 5. Be generous with her. 6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart. 7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times. 8. Look good and smell great for your wife. 9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken. 10. Be a good listener. 11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing. 12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear. 13. A pleasant surprise. 14. Preserve and guard the tongue. 15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings. 16. Give sincere compliments. 17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family. 18. Speak of the topic of her interest. 19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is. 20. Give each other gifts. 21. Get rid of routine, surprise her. 22. Have a good opinion of each other. 23. Have good manners, overlook small t...

The year was 1902 when the Professor questioned his student whether it was God who created everything that exists in the universe? Student replied: "Yes." Professor questioned again: "What about evil? Has God created evil also?" Student was silent. Then student requested whether he may ask a question? Professor allowed him to do so. Student asked: "Does cold exists?" Professor replied: "Yes; don’t you feel the cold, dear?" Student said: "You are wrong, Sir; cold is the complete absence of heat." Student asked again: "Does darkness exists?" Professor answered" "Yes." Student replied: "You are again wrong; there is no such thing like darkness; its actually the absence of light. We can study light and heat but not darkness and cold. Similarly, the evil does not exist. Actually, it is the absence of love, faith and true belief in God." The student was Albert Einstein.

This is a true story that happened in Japan. In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built. What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-blowing. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years. Without moving a single step since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck b...

Giving the 1st month salary to parents with care. Thinking your love with tears. Looking old photos & smiling. Thinking your past school and college days. A sweet & emotional chat with friends Finding money in old dress when needed. Holding hands with your loved ones for a walk. Getting a hug from one who cares you. 1st kiss to your child when he /she born. The moments when your eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh.

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble. Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship,friendship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

You may rearrange the ranks ! 10. No, you don’t look fat. 9. I don’t enjoy going to pubs and bars. 8. We’ll talk about it later. 7. You remind me of Jennifer Lopez. 6. I love your cooking. 5. I don’t think of other women. 4. You can use my razor to shave your legs. 3. I love romantic movies. 2. I love spending time with your mom. 1. I’m sorry.

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 year old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many limes, not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' Man was so hurt and speechless. He sent back to car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own action sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches that child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide. Anger and Love have no limits, choose the later to have a beautiful & lovely life.

   1. Compare yourself frequently with others.    2. Belittle yourself.    3. Don’t believe in dreams, you think dreams only happen when you are sleeping.    4. Say yes to everybody and everything.    5. Work in a job you hate.    6. Complain about everything.    7. Complain about everything to your friends.    8. Suspicious of everything.    9. Counting your troubles.   10. Harbor negative thoughts.   11. Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.   12. Constantly think about the past.   13. Constantly think about the future.   14. Focusing on what you lack.   15. Focusing on what you don’t want.   16. Need others to validate you constantly.   17. Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.   18. Being jealous easily.   19. Always envy others and never grateful of what you have instead.   20. Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.   21. Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.   22. Think the world revolves around you.   23. Co...