Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of Four Underwear you asked for." The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor...  "Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be 'Ford Endeavour'!!"

A Sardar gifted his son a gun on his wedding night and said, "Shoot in the air if your wife is a virgin and Shoot her if she is not a virgin." Son fires in the air on the first night and shoots her on the second night.                               Singh is King!

A man parks his bicycle nearby the parliament house and walks on. A police constable stops him and asks, "Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know it's a VIP road and many MPs, sometimes CMs, PMs and even President pass from here." Man replied, "Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle."

A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up. The RJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize." "That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight. "Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question." "Well, I've got a Masters in maths and have been teaching maths for 35+ years," I proudly replied. "Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats for Rahul Gandhi's speech and to meet him back stage, ... What is 2+2?" I replied, "7."

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name." A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!" Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." A lady calls the poli...

A little boy wanted Rs.500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write to God a letter requesting the Rs.500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God they decided to forward it to the President as a joke. The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a  the boy and he did not want to spoil the kid. The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Government route, and those donkeys deducted Rs.300."

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day. The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the...

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is except Mike. When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?" "My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."