Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate. My Dearest Divya Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options (a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks 1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because: (a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really ... am I doing it? 2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because: (a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile 3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because: (a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song 4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because: (a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know 5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish, this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... . He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ." Don't mess with intelligent people.

My wife is an ENT Surgeon while I am a Gynaecologist. (In fact, we had nearly called our hospital The 'Holey' Family hospital but are now waiting for our son to be a Proctologist and marry an urologist.) This can lead to some complications, as I recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner phoned me up and told me that she as sending a patient of hers for an abortion. Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal of the wax to my wife. I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she  was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our  hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax  removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation  that I had with the patient. "Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a  feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax.&q

Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father -in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father -in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born. The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl. Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do. If he writes "the watch has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son. If he writes " watch has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened. But being a very intelligent person, he finds a solution and sends the telegram. Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads "The watch has arrived, but the pendul

These are dirty yet amusing pickup lines. Be careful while using because rattling them before descent girls may be injurious to your health. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. I love every bone in your body - especially mine. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine. Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long. Damn, you're hot. Wanna go back to my place? I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead? If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can m

During her Presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton goes to a school to talk about the world. After she was done, she offers question time. One little boy, Johny, holds his hand up and asks her: “I have three questions: first - what happened to your medical health care plan? second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? third - what happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?” Immediately the recess bell rang. So, it was decided to resume after the break was over. After the break: Hillary says, “Anybody with a question?” Another boy, Samby, puts his hand up. Hillary points him out. Samby: “I have five questions: first - what happened to your medical health care plan? second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? third - what happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? fourth - why did the bell ring 20 minutes early? fifth - what happened to Johny?”

When you’ve got to walk out, you’ve got to walk out. But while doing it, don’t be an emotional infant Of the 50 ways to leave your lover, Texting, ‘Make a new plan,’ is not the most sensitive. You would think singer/model John Mayer would show more sensitivity than dump Jennifer Aniston with a text message saying, “That’s it – the end.” But apparently, that’s what he did. However, you have to admit that’s better than announcing your decision to move on on national TV, like Matt Damon. Rumour has it that he told then girlfriend Minnie Driver that it was over by announcing it on Oprah Winfrey’s show. More recently, Olympic swimmer and model Amanda Beard publicly expressed her opinion about super-athlete Michael Phelps by saying, “Come on, I have really good taste.” Breaking up (or declining a prospect gracefully, as with Beard) is never easy, but with careful planning and a bit of sensitivity, you can lessen the trauma of heartbreak. PREPARE THE GROUND If the case is such that one person

This has got to be one of the most clever e -mails, I have received in a while..! DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE   PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN    MONICA LEWINSKY When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION  When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT   THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE    A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE   AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time..... Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss" They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire. We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection." One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average? . . . . . . . . . . . . . "About 1 litre."

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around. 1. There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar. 2. B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar. * The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars. 3. Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars. *A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar. * B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars. * C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar. * Th

Nanubhai of Dalal Street wants to comment on recession in his own thinking style. How Indians would have saved Lehman Brothers? I happened to run in to Nanubhai on Dalal Street. He was eating Khaman Dhokla (eating dish made up of "Besan" and most of the Gujarati's do like to it and many dishes made up of "Besan" like Surti Phaphda, Khamani, Gathiya, Bhujiya, Shev, Farsan) farsan shop (Evening eating snacks joint). ""Kem cho, Nanubhai?" "Majama". (How are You Nanubhai? Fine and doing wonders as usual.) He was looking glum but gestured me to join him. As I bit into the tasty dhokla with tangy chutney on the Friday afternoon, which was fast turning into a 'Manic Friday' as per Dalal Street lingo, he was staring at the bull near the entrance, which overnight had become a Russian bear hugging everybody that passed the Street. Nanubhai is a well-respected Dalal Street dada with an answer to every shareholder's query. "What we

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing and here it is... Deer sur, If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker. This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun. Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.” Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the t

A Marwadi having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish! Marwadi: I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home! God: Damn!!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's. Lessons learnt from the above story:- Compile all requirements and present in one line rather boring appraiser for long time.

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring states.                                                                             Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab and the surgery went through.                                                                             After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds, jewelry, and half a million US dollars.                                                                             Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.                                             

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: 'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'. The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!' Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers. 'But I am not an American!' - says the man. Oh, what are you then?' The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!' The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog'

Dearest Ms Juliet, I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them

There is a famous Chinese proverb - "Men trip not on mountains; they stumble on stones."How True !   There's very little difference between little and big because there would be no big things were it not for the little things that created them.  Just consider what tremendous consequences come from little things -- a chance word, a tap with trust on the shoulder, or a penny dropped on a news stand - if you think carefully... there are no little things. Although little things can lead to great things, they can also lead to terrible things. Careless people, for example, may allow a little dispute to end a great relationship.     The roles of big and little are equally important in business. For if we wish to be a big success, we'll have to pay attention to the little things (details). Ben Franklin points out how important the little things are if we wish to reach our goals: "For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of

1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." ---------------------------------------- 2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" ---------------------------------------- 3) Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'." Tech Support: "Ma'

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.' 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?' Are you going to pass this onm or do you want the bed next to me?

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' FOURTEEN. Remember that great love an

Check out these examples of achievements at a young age: Mozart began learning to play the piano at age 4. Anna Paquin earned an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress when she was 11 years old. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of social networking site Facebook.com, is 23 – and already worth more than $1 billion. Orson Welles co-wrote, directed and starred in "Citizen Kane" when he was 25. At age 27, Yuri Gagarin became the first human being to visit space.

Ever heard the excuse, "I'm too old for that?" (Ever said it yourself?) Check out these people who refused to let their ages dictate their potential: In 2008, 41 year-old swimmer Dara Torres won three silver medals at the Beijing Olympics. George Foreman recaptured the heavyweight championship when he was 45 years old. Daniel Defoe was 59 years old when he wrote his first novel, "The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe." At 65, Mick Jagger is still touring and recording with The Rolling Stones. Joe Paterno is still the head coach of Pennsylvania State University's college football team... at age 82.

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug....

Newton 's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion. Rajnikanth Method: Keep warning the lion that you may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping! Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time. Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story f

A policeman was testing three Singh brothers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he thought of conducting a quick test. He shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The first Singh answers, 'That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!' The policeman says, 'Well...uh.. .that's because the picture I showed is his side profile.' Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, 'This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?' The second Singh smiles and says, 'Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!' The policeman angrily responds, 'What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can co

A man is driving in his car on a road. A woman is driving in her car on the same road, but in the opposite direction. When they pass each other, the man opens his window and shouts to the woman: DONKEY ! The woman immediately responds: Monkey ! Both continue their separate ways, the woman being very satisfied with her quick and smart reaction. And just as she reaches the first curve in the road … Moral: "Women never really understand what men are trying to say to them."

Normally I don't blog pictures. But could not resist to add this fantastic one. The question that haunted every second man is why girls stare at other girls and not boys as much. The picture says everything. And this is why boys don't stare at each other. They simply exchange 'hi' and nothing else.

This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you . Hey .......(Employee) , Incentive nahi mila, Bura Huva Salary cut rahi hai, Bura Huva Extra shift hogi, who bhi bure hogi. Hey Arjuna, Tum pitchla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo, Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo, Bus apni salary main santusta raho.... Tumhari pocket se kya gaya , Jo rote ho? Jo aaya tha sab uper ki income thee. ;-) Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee. Hey Dhananjaya, Tum NE aisa kaun as response diya, Jo tumhara tha. Sab kuch, 'cut-copy-paste' ka khel tha. Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the.. Jo experience mila, yahi mila... Jo support diya company ke liye... Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo. Jo system aaj tumhara hai.... Who kal kisi aur ka tha..... Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga.. Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho.. Hey Kaunteya, Yahi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai. "Kyo wayarth chinta karte ho, kiss

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a pe

In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main-streamed into regular schools. At a Crush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the Perfection in my son Shaya Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?" The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query. "I believe," the father answered, that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child." He then told the following story about his son, Shaya: One af

A Marwadi having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish! Marwadi : I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home! God : Damn !!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's ** Marwadis, a community in India is considered to have high business acumen.

40 Tips for a Better Life 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. 3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following: 'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.' 5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. 6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year. 7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. 9. Dream more while you are awake. 10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories. 11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 12. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk

Doctor Certified Certified that Mr./Miss _____________, working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours. It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. Which can directly lead to heart strokes. In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient. Sd/- Dr. Impatient Cyber Clinic

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the ci

My mother used to ask me: "What is the most important part of the body?" Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." Mother said, "No Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon." Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes." Mother looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind." Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge. Over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child." Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hur

I pass through this very intersection every morning with so much ease. Today, the pace is skewed. There is a sense of disarray as motorists try to push past each other through the traffic light. The light here always tests their agility because if you miss the green, you have to wait for another three minutes before it lets you go past again. Those three minutes become eternity for an otherwise time-insensitive nation on the move. Today, there is a sense of chaos here. People are honking, skirting each other and rushing past. I look out of my window to seek the reason. It is not difficult to find because it is lying strewn all over the place. A tomato seller’s cart has overturned. There are tomatoes everywhere and the rushing motorists are making pulp of it. The man is trying to get his cart back on its four rickety wheels and a few passersby are picking up what they can in an attempt to save him total loss. Though symbolic in the larger scheme of things, it is not a substantive gestur

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It. Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave." This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days." Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.." From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave." Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave" An incident of a leave letter: &q

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent - education ruined me. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say.......... Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect......... so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ? Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Save water. Shower with your girl friend. Love thy neighbour. But don't get caught. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wis

On walking into the factory, the Head Manager noticed a young boy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?" Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash then gave it to the young man and said:"Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months 'salary', now GET OUT and don't come back". The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner: "And that applies for everybody in this company". He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?" To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery man, Sir..."

1. Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. 4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby. 5. Marketing manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. 6. Resource optimization team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. 7. Documentation team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. 8. Quality auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. 9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 10. HR manager is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months.