Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence. After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with ...

It was a rich country with many beautiful gardens. In one of the gardens a bamboo grove flourished. A tall and majestic bamboo stood in the middle. Its commanding appearance made it the cynosure of all those who visited the garden. The owner of the garden, whenever visited it, used to stand before the bamboo grove, especially viewing the tall bamboo with full of appreciation. He used to tell himself, “What a combination of strength, nobility, charm and grace!” The bamboo would gracefully move enjoying the wind. With the passage of time, the bamboo grew more and more commanding in form, and proud of the owner’s appreciation. When the wind is favorable, it would dance in joyous abandon. One day, the master came to the garden and stood before the bamboo. His eyes showed appreciation. But this time there was something more. There was an expectation too. The bamboo noticed the difference and became curious. The owner spoke to the bamboo with a tinge of sadness but his words were sure and ce...

A friend called on Michelangelo, who was finishing a statue. Sometime afterwards he called again. The sculptor was still at his work. His friend looking at the figure exclaimed, "You have been idle since I saw you last." "By no means," replied the sculptor, "I have retouched this part, and polished that. I have softened this feature, and brought out this muscle. I have given more expression to this lip, and more energy to this limb." "Well, well," said his friend, "but all these are trifles." "It may be so," replied Michelangelo, "but recollect that trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."

Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament. The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let's see what happened thereafter.... The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence. Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects execute...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy  was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a  poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face  her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. The husband just said "I Love You Darling" The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There...

Eighty percent of Kindergartners solved this riddle, but only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out! Can you answer the following question? in one word? 1. The word has seven letters... 2. Preceded God... 3. Greater than God... 4. More Evil than the devil... 5. All poor people have it... 6. Wealthy people need it... 7. If you eat it, you will die. Did you figure it out? Try hard before looking at the answers Did you get it yet? Give up? Brace yourself for the answer.... The Answer is: NOTHING! NOTHING has 7 letters. NOTHING preceded God. NOTHING is greater than God. NOTHING is more Evil than the devil. All poor people have NOTHING. Wealthy people need NOTHING. If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

Giving the 1st month salary to parents with care. Thinking your love with tears. Looking old photos & smiling. Thinking your past school and college days. A sweet & emotional chat with friends Finding money in old dress when needed. Holding hands with your loved ones for a walk. Getting a hug from one who cares you. 1st kiss to your child when he /she born. The moments when your eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh.

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble. Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship,friendship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

Universal law of Love: "Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money " First law of Love: "A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. " Second law of Love: "The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. " Third law of Love: "The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping ."

How guys select the girl they want to marry A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.   He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.   The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.   She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.   The man is impressed.   The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.   She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.   Again, the man is impressed.   The third invests the money in the stock market.   She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint accou...

   1. Compare yourself frequently with others.    2. Belittle yourself.    3. Don’t believe in dreams, you think dreams only happen when you are sleeping.    4. Say yes to everybody and everything.    5. Work in a job you hate.    6. Complain about everything.    7. Complain about everything to your friends.    8. Suspicious of everything.    9. Counting your troubles.   10. Harbor negative thoughts.   11. Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.   12. Constantly think about the past.   13. Constantly think about the future.   14. Focusing on what you lack.   15. Focusing on what you don’t want.   16. Need others to validate you constantly.   17. Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.   18. Being jealous easily.   19. Always envy others and never grateful of what you have instead.   20. Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.   21. Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.   22. Think the world revolves around you.   23. Co...

Officially, it’s “daylight saving time,” not “daylight savings time.” But don’t feel bad if you thought there was a final “s” on “saving”; far more people Google the incorrect phrase than the correct one. Daylight saving time has mixed effects on people’s health. Transitions into and out of DST can disturb people’s sleeping patterns, for example, and make them more restless at night. Night owls tend to be more bothered by the time changes than people who like mornings, Finnish researchers concluded last year. There’s a spike in heart attacks during the first week of daylight saving time, according to another study published last year. The loss of an hour’s sleep may make people more susceptible to an attack, some experts say. When daylight saving time ends in the fall, heart attacks briefly become less frequent than usual. People are safer drivers during daylight hours, and researchers have found that DST reduces lethal car crashes and pedestrian strikes. In fact, a study concluded tha...

1. OPENING JARS - she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man. 3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic. 4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle. 5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction. 6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles ...

TWELVE: You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her. ELEVEN: You walk really slowly when you are with him/her. TEN: You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away. NINE: You smile when you hear his/her voice. EIGHT: When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her. SIX: He/She  is everything you want to think. FIVE: You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her. FOUR: You would do anything to see him/her. THREE: While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time. TWO: You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing. ONE: You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

Friendship (with a capital F) is a rare and precious thing, some mystical combination of compatible senses of humor, kind listening ears, and feelings of closeness and trust even if you live far from each other. Who can you count on for support, advice, and fun?  Share this collection of quotes with your boon companion and let them know how much you value their friendship. "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle "The only way to have a friend is to be one." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "To have a good friend is one of the highest delights of life; to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings." - Anonymous "To a friend’s house, the road is never long." - Danish Proverb "One who looks for a friend without faults will have none." - Hasidic Saying "Who finds a faithful friend finds a treasure." - Apocrypha Ben Sira 6 14 "A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Befor...

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.   Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold several meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.   The first time I was in Sweden , one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fix...

LOVE: when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST: when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE: when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care LOVE: when intercourse is called making love LUST: all other times MARRIAGE: what's intercourse? LOVE: when you argue over how many children to have LUST: when you argue over who gets the wet spot MARRIAGE: when you argue over money LOVE: when you share everything you own LUST: when you think twice about giving your partner bus money MARRIAGE: when the bank owns everything LOVE: when it doesn't matter if you don't climax LUST: when the relationship is over if you don't climax MARRIAGE: what's a climax? LOVE: when you phone each other just to say "Hi" LUST: when you phone each other just to organize sex MARRIAGE: when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts LOVE: when all you write is poems about your partner LUST: when all you write is your phone nu...

A few days back one of my neighbors came to me with his son who is studying in the 10th standard. After talking a few minutes about the weather, the current affairs, etc., he jumped straight to the subject that he came to discuss. He wanted to know which subjects his son should take for the next two years—Maths or Science. Or in other words, he wanted to know whether his son should become an engineer or doctor. When I asked him why he thinks that they are the only two professions, he looked at me as if I am an idiot. I told him there are other career choices in arts, literature, science, and so on. But he was not convinced. He asked me “What is the guarantee that he will get a job if he takes a degree in Commerce, English or Physics?” I asked him “What is the guarantee that your son will get a job if he becomes an engineer or a doctor?” He again gave me that ‘you idiot’ look and told the chances are better for engineers and doctors. I asked his son which subject he preferred. The son w...

My friend Natalie can't see the point in you. She says that all you do is burp, fart, dribble, grin inanely and emit a series if unintelligible noises. Admittedly she hasn't seen you at your best, but I still think that's a little harsh. The first time Natalie came to visit you were asleep on your back, gurgling little spit bubbles, a thin strand of drool running down your chin. Natalie just stared at you as if you were a creature from another planet. She made no secret of the fact that she wasn't impressed. The second time she came to visit you crawled across the carpet towards her and vomited on her expensive new shoes. I tried to make light of it, explaining that it's mainly just liquid and wipes off easily, but she really did look quite appalled. Natalie likes being a career woman, rushing between meetings in her power suit, clutching her Starbucks Coffee and her laptop. She's never wanted a husband or a baby, but if she could see you on a good day I'm s...

Here I am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed from a collage life to strict professional life…... How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks but then why it gives lesss happiness…. How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but then why there are less people to use them How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger But then why there is less hunger….. Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed….. How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on but then why there are less places to go on…… How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day but then why its feels like shop is far away….. How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package but then why there are less calls & more messages…… Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed….. How a general class journey changed to Flight journey But then why there are less vacati...