Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

One day all the employees reached the office and saw a big advice written on the door. Yesterday the person who has been stopping your growth in this company passed away. You are invited to join the funeral. In the beginning, they got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they got curious to know who was the man who stopped their growth. Everyone thought: Well atleast the man who stopped my progress died! One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they were speechless. They stood shocked in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin and everyone who looked inside could see himself. There was a sign next to the mirror that read: There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth...It is you. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, success and realization. Your life does not change when your boss friends or company ...

Good story... One day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet height, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't need to pay!" and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was.! Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that and so forth.! This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and...

एक बार राजा के दरबार मै एक फ़कीर गाना गाने जाता है फ़कीर बहुत अच्छा गाना गाता है। राजा कहते हैं इसे खूब सारा सोना दे दो। फ़कीर और अच्छा गाता है। राजा कहते हैं इसे हीरे जवाहरात भी दे दो। फकीर और अच्छा गाता है।राजा कहते हैं इसे असरफियाँ भी दे दो। फ़कीर और अच्छा गाता है।राजा कहते हैं इसे खूब सारी ज़मीन भी दे दो। फ़कीर गाना गा कर घर चला जाता है। और अपने बीबी बच्चों से कहता है आज  हमारे राजा  ने गाने का खूब सारा इनाम दिया। हीरे जवाहरात सोना ज़मीन असरफियाँ बहुत कुछ दिया। सब बहुत खुश होते हैं। कुछ दिन बीते ; फ़कीर को अभी तक राजा द्वारा मिलने वाला इनाम नही पहुँचा था । फ़कीर राजा के दरवार में फिर पहुँचा और कहने लगा, "राजाजी आप के द्वारा दिया गया इनाम मुझे अभी तक नहीं मिला।" राजा कहते हैं, "अरे फ़कीर, ये लेन देन की बात क्या करता है। तू मेरे कानों को खुश करता रहा और मैं तेरे कानों  को खुश करता रहा।"

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class."...

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.” The man just said, “We'll see.” A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses. The man and his son corraled all 21 horses. All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!” The man just said, “We'll see.” One of the wild horses kicked the man's only son, breaking both his legs. All the neighbors came by saying, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.” The man just said, “We'll see.” The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer's son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. All the neighbors came by saying, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!” The man just said...

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three month...

The Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?" '50gms!'..... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ...the students answered. "I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?" 'Nothing' …..the students said. 'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked. 'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student "You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?" "Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!" Ventured another student & all the students laughed "Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" Asked th...

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to have a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked,'Why do people shout at each other?' The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.' 'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' said the saint. The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained. 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are very distant. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance betwe...

This is great. Take a moment to read it; it will make your day! The ending will surprise you.... A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.. He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great ...

Yesterday started with the best of intentions. I walked into my office in the morning with a vague sense of what I wanted to accomplish. Then I sat down, turned on my computer, and checked my email. Two hours later, after fighting several fires, solving other people's problems, and dealing with whatever happened to be thrown at me through my computer and phone, I could hardly remember what I had set out to accomplish when I first turned on my computer. I'd been ambushed. And I know better. When I teach time management, I always start with the same question: How many of you have too much time and not enough to do in it? In ten years, no one has ever raised a hand. That means we start every day knowing we're not going to get it all done. So how we spend our time is a key strategic decision. That's why it's a good idea to create a to do list and an ignore list. The hardest attention to focus is our own. But even with those lists, the challenge, as always, is execution....

First year students of MBBS were attending their first Anatomy class. They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog. The Professor started class by telling two important qualities as a Doctor. The first is that NEVER BE DISGUSTED FOR ANYTHING ABOUT BODY, e.g. he inserted his finger in dog's mouth & on drawing back tasted it in his own mouth. Then he said them to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in dog's mouth & then tasted it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said: The most important 2nd quality is OBSERVATION, I inserted my Middle finger but tasted the Index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life is tough but it's a lot tougher when you are not paying attention.......

Principal to student..." I saw you yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette?" Class teacher once said: "Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!" Once Hindi teacher said, "I'm going out of the world to America." "DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK." Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down..... It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said, "Why is fan not oning?" (ing form of on) Teacher in a furious mood: "Write down ur name and father of ur name!!" "Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college" My manager started like this: "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids" "I'll illustrate what I have in my mind", said the professor and erased the board. "Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF" LIBRAR...

You'll forget English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow: Indian Cow HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got child]. He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [Horses don't have any such attachment] What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, waterman's and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand and drying in the su...

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. Behind an able man there are always other able men. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody. To walk only on sunny days is to never reach one’s destination. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown. You cannot prevent th...

A friend called on Michelangelo, who was finishing a statue. Sometime afterwards he called again. The sculptor was still at his work. His friend looking at the figure exclaimed, "You have been idle since I saw you last." "By no means," replied the sculptor, "I have retouched this part, and polished that. I have softened this feature, and brought out this muscle. I have given more expression to this lip, and more energy to this limb." "Well, well," said his friend, "but all these are trifles." "It may be so," replied Michelangelo, "but recollect that trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon. This will confuse your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain! While sitting in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.  Does it !!!

Rutali married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Rutali's mother gave her a  newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount. Mother: 'Rutali, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriagelife. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your newlife, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.' Rutali shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can bemade. This was what they did after certain time: - 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage - 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Rutali - 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali - 15 Apr: Rs..2000, Rutali got pregnant - 1 Jun: Rs.100...

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.   The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag. 1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. 2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. 3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail. They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylen...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.   He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was fa...

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. The father believed in encouragement. This young man was the smallest of the class when he entered high school. His father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The co...