Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

An old soldier sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old combat jacket and boots and ordered a coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the soldier and asked, "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life in jungles and mountains. I've taken part in several wars and insurgencies. I've taught more than 1000 officers and several thousand troops about combat. What are you?" She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old soldier and asked: "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "I always thought I was. But I just

Rujuta Diwekar is the highest paid dietitian in India. She is the one who took care of junior Ambani to lose 108 kgs. Her advice to diabetics: 1. Eat fruits grown locally... Banana, Grapes, Chikoo, Mangoes. All fruits have fructose so it doesn't matter that you are eating a mango over an Apple. A Mango comes from Konkan and Apple from Kashmir. So Mango is more local to you. Eat all the above fruits in diabetes as the fructose will eventually manage your sugar. 2. Choose Seed oils than Veggie oils. Like choose ground nut, mustard, coconut and til. Don't choose chakachak packing oils, like olive,  rice bran etc. Go for kachchi ghani oils than refined oils. 3. Rujuta spends max time in her talks talking about ghee and its benefits. Eat ghee daily. How much ghee we should eat depends on food. Few foods need more ghee then eat more and vice versa. Eat ample ghee. It reduces cholesterol. 4. Include coconut. Either scraped coconut over food like poha, khandvi or chutney with

Dear friends, What is happening in malls. Apart from prices of movie and parking being exorbitant, what was too shocking and alarming was the cost of popcorn. Popcorn being charged at 100, 200 and 300 rupees. The actual cost of these pack of popcorn should be not more than 5 rupees. Even after considering the various other costs involved, they can charge at 20 rupees, or 30 rupees, but why more than 300% of the cost. When the matter was took up, the vendor said, as long as we have takers, we will charge. Why are we wasting our hard earned money and make these buggers rich? Let's curb the temptation and let's boycott this popcorn and teach them a lesson. One average show at one screen has at least 500 people and if 300 people buy this popcorn they make easily 25 to 30000 rupees in one show in one screen, you will be shocked to know that this money runs in lakhs per day per show in just one city. Come on friends lets voice it up, if we stop buying popcorn at malls,

When I reached office, I got a call from my wife... "What is the date today?" I was wondering... then told her that it's 12th September. Call disconnected. I was wondering... Her birthday? No...mine...No... anniversary...no..son's birthday ...no...in laws birthday anniversary...no... Gas booking..done...Utility payments done... Her uncle who arrives when we want to go out, squash and kill us and our time... His birthday ...no... Then?! Why date??? Lunch and evening tea went with spinning questions. Reached home. Junior was playing in car park. I asked him, "How is the weather in kitchen? Tornado... tsunami?" Boy told, "All normal. Why?" I said, "Your mom asked me... what is the date today in the morning?" Boy smiled and told me, "I tore some sheets from calendar in morning. She was confused."