Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Harley Cobb placed an estate-agency size notice in front of his house in Pasadena, California. It read, in large smart lettering: 'Widower 55 seeks attractive lady (40-60), friendship ... maybe more' and gave his phone number. His sign and his story appeared in newspapers and on TV, and he received more than 4,000 calls from marriage-minded women around the world. He interviewed 800 and dated 81 of them before meeting his wife, Helen, who lived in the neighbourhood. Helen, 46, remembers: 'When I first saw Harley's sign, I thought to myself, 'There's a fruitcase'. But one day I happened to be walking by when he was outside, posing for a photographer. I thought to myself: 'He looks normal'.' She phoned him. They met twice. They got married.

Yesterday started with the best of intentions. I walked into my office in the morning with a vague sense of what I wanted to accomplish. Then I sat down, turned on my computer, and checked my email. Two hours later, after fighting several fires, solving other people's problems, and dealing with whatever happened to be thrown at me through my computer and phone, I could hardly remember what I had set out to accomplish when I first turned on my computer. I'd been ambushed. And I know better. When I teach time management, I always start with the same question: How many of you have too much time and not enough to do in it? In ten years, no one has ever raised a hand. That means we start every day knowing we're not going to get it all done. So how we spend our time is a key strategic decision. That's why it's a good idea to create a to do list and an ignore list. The hardest attention to focus is our own. But even with those lists, the challenge, as always, is execution.

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!' Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, 'Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?' 'No, sweetheart,' she responds. Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, 'Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master Card balance yet?' 'Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,' she says. 'One last thing, Mona. Did you re

First year students of MBBS were attending their first Anatomy class. They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog. The Professor started class by telling two important qualities as a Doctor. The first is that NEVER BE DISGUSTED FOR ANYTHING ABOUT BODY, e.g. he inserted his finger in dog's mouth & on drawing back tasted it in his own mouth. Then he said them to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in dog's mouth & then tasted it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said: The most important 2nd quality is OBSERVATION, I inserted my Middle finger but tasted the Index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life is tough but it's a lot tougher when you are not paying attention.......

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them. 7. There are 14 punctuation

A cricket match was in progress between the Aussies & Indians at Wankhede Stadium. Bal Thackrey was sitting in the balcony watching it. He's very happy that the Pakies are not there. Suddenly Sachin hits a sixer to McGrath and the ball lands up just Next to Bal Thackrey's seat. McGrath shouts, 'Hey! Gimme the ball.' Thackrey shouts back, 'Yey , Marathit bol.' ("speak in Marathi") McGrath doesn't understand a thing & repeats his statement. This gets The same reply from Thackrey. Now, a security official standing at the Boundary goes to McGrath & tells him, 'Sir, He is Bal Thackrey.' Now McGrath is excited, (he has heard about him) and shouts, 'OH! BALL TAK REY.' (in marathi it means "throw the Ball) Bal Thackrey is happy and throws the ball back to him.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand. The lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups." "Now, if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hol

27/Apr/2009 : Boston, USA Vision for the Nation: A Distinctive Profile The competitiveness is powered by knowledge, Knowledge is powered by Technology and innovation. Friends, I am delighted to be with the Northeastern University and address students from Northeastern University, Harvard University and other distinguished guests. My greetings to all the members present here. I am inspired by the motto of the Northeastern University “Light, Truth and Courage” which are the three components of education systems. Also, I find that NEU is one of America’s Most Entrepreneurial Campuses. When I am in the midst of students and guests of this great university, I would like to talk on the topic “Vision for the Nation: A Distinctive Profile” . Let me share with you my unique experience in mid 1990’s on formulation of Indian vision 2020 strategies. I was given the task of chairing Technology Information Forecasting and Assessment Council (TIFAC). I recollect, that in the first meeting o

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'. ----------------------------------------------- A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Without