Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

If you get in my way, I'll kill you! - ideal project manager If you get in my way, you'll kill me! - somewhat less than ideal project manager If I get in my way, I'll kill you! - somewhat misguided project manager If I get in your way, I'll kill you! - A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.) If get kill in will way I you. - dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager I am the way! Kill me if you can! - messianic project manager Get away, I'll kill us all! - suicidal project manager If you kill me, I'll get in your way. - thoughtful but ineffective project manager If I kill you, I'll get in your way. - project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm. - project manager from New York I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so no one will get killed. - project manager who is about to get in big trouble If you kill me, so what? If you get...

Business is made up of ambiguous victories and nebulous defeats. Claim them all as victories. Keep track of what you do; someone is sure to ask. Be comfortable around senior managers, or learn to fake it. Never bring your boss a problem without some solution. You are getting paid to think, not to whine. Long hours don’t mean anything; results count, not efforts. Write down ideas; they get lost, like good pens. Always arrive at work 30 minutes before your boss. Help other people network for jobs. You never know when your turn will come. Don’t take days off sick—unless you are. Assume no one can/will keep a secret. Know when you do your best—morning, night, under pressure, relaxed; schedule and prioritize your work accordingly. Treat everyone who works in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the cleaner or the managing director. Don’t ever be patronizing. Never appear stressed in front of a client, a customer or your boss. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: In the c...