Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back !"

Business is made up of ambiguous victories and nebulous defeats. Claim them all as victories. Keep track of what you do; someone is sure to ask. Be comfortable around senior managers, or learn to fake it. Never bring your boss a problem without some solution. You are getting paid to think, not to whine. Long hours don’t mean anything; results count, not efforts. Write down ideas; they get lost, like good pens. Always arrive at work 30 minutes before your boss. Help other people network for jobs. You never know when your turn will come. Don’t take days off sick—unless you are. Assume no one can/will keep a secret. Know when you do your best—morning, night, under pressure, relaxed; schedule and prioritize your work accordingly. Treat everyone who works in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the cleaner or the managing director. Don’t ever be patronizing. Never appear stressed in front of a client, a customer or your boss. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: In the c...