Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Soldiers are always soldiers! What is the meaning of Pin Drop Silence? Following are some instances when silence could speak louder than voice. Take 1: Field Marshal Sam M F J Maneckshaw once started addressing a public meeting at Ahmedabad in English. The crowd started chanting, "Speak in Gujarati. We will hear you only if you speak in Gujarati." Field Marshal Sam Maneckshaw stopped. Swept the audience with a hard stare and replied, "Friends, I have fought many a battle in my long career.  I have learned Punjabi from men of the Sikh Regiment; Marathi from the Maratha Regiment; Tamil from the men of the Madras Sappers; Bengali from the men of the Bengal Sappers; Hindi from the Bihar Regiment; Even Nepali from the Gurkha Regiment.   Unfortunately there was no soldier from Gujarat from whom I could have learned Gujarati."... You could have heard a pin drop Take 2: Robert Whiting,  an elderly US gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a f...

During a Robbery in Hong Kong, the Bank Robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The Money belongs to the Government. Your Life belongs to You." Everyone in the Bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the Conventional Way of Thinking. When a Lady lay on the Table provocatively, the Robber shouted at her: "Please be Civilized! This is a Robbery and not a Rape!" This is called "Being Professional” . Focus only on What You are Trained to do!  When the Bank Robbers returned Home, the Younger Robber (MBA Trained) told the older Robber (who has only completed Year 6 in Primary School): "Big Brother, let's count how much we got." The older Robber rebutted and said: "You are very Stupid. There is so much Money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV News will tell us how much we Robbed from the Bank!" This is called "Experience”  Nowadays, experience is more Im...

Life can begin at 55, it is all in your hands! Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 60 years of age, owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinions. But, it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously. Here are ten mantras to age gracefully and make life after retirement pleasant. 1. Never say I am aged There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions; the third is how old we feel we are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age. 2. Health is wealth If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health c...

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to have a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked,'Why do people shout at each other?' The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.' 'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' said the saint. The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained. 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are very distant. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance betwe...

In 1871, Mark Twain was born as Samuel Langhorne Clemens in Florida, Missouri, U.S. He was a writer, and lecturer. He was called the “greatest American humorist of his age.” He wrote the now classic novels, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He wrote some great stuff that is still read by millions today. He also had some great quotes that continue to live on because of the wisdom in them. Mark Twain was a funny, witty, and wise guy. I hope the below quotes will astonish, enlighten, and amuse you. 1. "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." We walk around all our lives thinking about things that will never happen. We worry, dread, and fear what hasn’t happened and what probably never will. Our minds are out of control. Our heads are filled with negative thoughts that have no bearing in reality, even if we think they do. Eliminating bad thoughts is possible, through methods such as EFT and Th...

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just...

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. Behind an able man there are always other able men. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody. To walk only on sunny days is to never reach one’s destination. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown. You cannot prevent th...

A friend called on Michelangelo, who was finishing a statue. Sometime afterwards he called again. The sculptor was still at his work. His friend looking at the figure exclaimed, "You have been idle since I saw you last." "By no means," replied the sculptor, "I have retouched this part, and polished that. I have softened this feature, and brought out this muscle. I have given more expression to this lip, and more energy to this limb." "Well, well," said his friend, "but all these are trifles." "It may be so," replied Michelangelo, "but recollect that trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that." The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!" Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

Rutali married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Rutali's mother gave her a  newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount. Mother: 'Rutali, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriagelife. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your newlife, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.' Rutali shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can bemade. This was what they did after certain time: - 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage - 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Rutali - 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali - 15 Apr: Rs..2000, Rutali got pregnant - 1 Jun: Rs.100...

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.   The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag. 1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. 2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. 3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail. They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylen...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.   He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was fa...

I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.   I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I  have made her heart cry for 3 years.   She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running of...

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. The father believed in encouragement. This young man was the smallest of the class when he entered high school. His father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The co...

"Lets go for a walk", said Rahul. "Yippee. Lets go", said Swetha, almost jumping out of her seat. It was yet another boring day in the Mysore training institute. Dusk was breaking in. Swetha had already taken two breaks since lunch. Nevertheless, she had been anticipating Rahul's invitation for another break. Rahul and Swetha had known each other for the last couple of months. They had been together since the training days. People knew them as the best of friends. Rahul, the regular T-D-H type, who spoke with a heavy Bengali accent, was a popular flirt in the DC. On the other hand, Swetha was a chubby sweet little girl, who was always on the lookout for sorrow souls. They enjoyed being in each other's company. Swetha would disclose all his crushes to Rahul, and Rahul would always be seen taking classes from Swetha, on how to impress a girl in 24 hours. Rahul had helped Swetha to forget her 7-year-old single lane relationship and Swetha would see to it that R...

Number 10 The waiting game You called her and, although you usually don't do this (or at least you shouldn't), you left a message for her to call you back. Hours or even days may pass before she returns your call. She's biding her time because she doesn't want to look too eager or too interested. Although she's interested in you, she doesn't want to risk chasing you away by appearing clingy. What you should do: After a few days, you could call back to make sure she received the message, but after this point, it's up to her to follow up. If she doesn't, take the hint. Number 9 The bait game The "I think I look fat in these pants... do you?" scenario is a tricky situation. Asking for your opinion is important to her; she wants to make sure that you find her desirable. But by framing the question as an effort to validate her own opinion, she's baiting you into jamming your foot into your mouth. What you should do: Don't take the bait. Look...

1. Make a grammatically correct sentence by using the  verb "IS" immediately after the word "I" 2. I am having two coins of Indian currency in my pocket, the total value of which comes to 75 paisa. But mind you, one of the coins is not a fifty paisa coin. How it is possible? 3. What is taken from you before it is given to you? 4. Eventhough it belongs to you, usually others use it, What?   FOR ANSWERS, SCROLL DOWN.   1. "I" is a pronoun. or "I" is the 9th letter of the English Alphabet. 2. I said "ONE" of the coins, not "NONE". So they are 50 and 25 paisa coins. J 3. Your Photo 4. Your Name.

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo to all department intimating the same. Week 1 Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice. Week 3 Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Week 6 Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. Week 8 Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory. Week 9 Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress. Week 14 Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee. Week 18 Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for em...

The year was 1902 when the Professor questioned his student whether it was God who created everything that exists in the universe? Student replied: "Yes." Professor questioned again: "What about evil? Has God created evil also?" Student was silent. Then student requested whether he may ask a question? Professor allowed him to do so. Student asked: "Does cold exists?" Professor replied: "Yes; don’t you feel the cold, dear?" Student said: "You are wrong, Sir; cold is the complete absence of heat." Student asked again: "Does darkness exists?" Professor answered" "Yes." Student replied: "You are again wrong; there is no such thing like darkness; its actually the absence of light. We can study light and heat but not darkness and cold. Similarly, the evil does not exist. Actually, it is the absence of love, faith and true belief in God." The student was Albert Einstein.

This is a true story that happened in Japan. In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built. What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-blowing. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years. Without moving a single step since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck b...