Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are females.

From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence. After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with

It was a rich country with many beautiful gardens. In one of the gardens a bamboo grove flourished. A tall and majestic bamboo stood in the middle. Its commanding appearance made it the cynosure of all those who visited the garden. The owner of the garden, whenever visited it, used to stand before the bamboo grove, especially viewing the tall bamboo with full of appreciation. He used to tell himself, “What a combination of strength, nobility, charm and grace!” The bamboo would gracefully move enjoying the wind. With the passage of time, the bamboo grew more and more commanding in form, and proud of the owner’s appreciation. When the wind is favorable, it would dance in joyous abandon. One day, the master came to the garden and stood before the bamboo. His eyes showed appreciation. But this time there was something more. There was an expectation too. The bamboo noticed the difference and became curious. The owner spoke to the bamboo with a tinge of sadness but his words were sure and ce

You'll forget English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow: Indian Cow HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got child]. He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [Horses don't have any such attachment] What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, waterman's and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand and drying in the su

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. Behind an able man there are always other able men. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody. To walk only on sunny days is to never reach one’s destination. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown. You cannot prevent th

A friend called on Michelangelo, who was finishing a statue. Sometime afterwards he called again. The sculptor was still at his work. His friend looking at the figure exclaimed, "You have been idle since I saw you last." "By no means," replied the sculptor, "I have retouched this part, and polished that. I have softened this feature, and brought out this muscle. I have given more expression to this lip, and more energy to this limb." "Well, well," said his friend, "but all these are trifles." "It may be so," replied Michelangelo, "but recollect that trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle."

A Quality engineer married an average girl After two years of tough life with her, finally engineer got angry and sent note to father-in-law stating that " YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS". The smart father-in-law replies, "WARRANTY EXPIRED,MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that." The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!" Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1 No one but their creator understands their internal logic ; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going ?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"

One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back" The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of the building, gettin

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta said, "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank God that it was your left hand, since you are right handed." Santa replied, "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realized that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

A man called home to his wife and said, 'Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" He added, "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?' The wife replied, 'I did, dear. They're in your fishing box! ...'