Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

This has got to be one of the most clever e -mails, I have received in a while..! DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE   PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN    MONICA LEWINSKY When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION  When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT   THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE    A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE   AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time..... Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss" They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire. We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection." One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average? . . . . . . . . . . . . . "About 1 litre."

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around. 1. There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar. 2. B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar. * The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars. 3. Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars. *A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar. * B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars. * C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar. * Th

Nanubhai of Dalal Street wants to comment on recession in his own thinking style. How Indians would have saved Lehman Brothers? I happened to run in to Nanubhai on Dalal Street. He was eating Khaman Dhokla (eating dish made up of "Besan" and most of the Gujarati's do like to it and many dishes made up of "Besan" like Surti Phaphda, Khamani, Gathiya, Bhujiya, Shev, Farsan) farsan shop (Evening eating snacks joint). ""Kem cho, Nanubhai?" "Majama". (How are You Nanubhai? Fine and doing wonders as usual.) He was looking glum but gestured me to join him. As I bit into the tasty dhokla with tangy chutney on the Friday afternoon, which was fast turning into a 'Manic Friday' as per Dalal Street lingo, he was staring at the bull near the entrance, which overnight had become a Russian bear hugging everybody that passed the Street. Nanubhai is a well-respected Dalal Street dada with an answer to every shareholder's query. "What we

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing and here it is... Deer sur, If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker. This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun. Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.” Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the t

A Marwadi having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God. God happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish! Marwadi: I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home! God: Damn!!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwadi's. Lessons learnt from the above story:- Compile all requirements and present in one line rather boring appraiser for long time.

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring states.                                                                             Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab and the surgery went through.                                                                             After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds, jewelry, and half a million US dollars.                                                                             Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.                                             

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: 'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'. The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!' Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers. 'But I am not an American!' - says the man. Oh, what are you then?' The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!' The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog'