Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

Once upon a time there was a little tree. He sat in the soil and danced in the wind. And he looked around and saw the other trees. "Man, they sure look taller than me," said the little tree. "Probably it's the soil," he mumbled. So he lifted up his roots and moved over to the part of the garden which he thought had better soil. A few weeks later the little tree looked up again. Probably, it's the sunshine "Damn," he cursed under his breath,"the other trees are growing taller than me. Probably it's the sunshine. Let me move into where I get more sunshine." And so the little tree moved from point to point, always picking up his roots. Always moving. Always searching for the right soil, water, fertiliser, sunshine and other more favourable conditions. And he stayed stunted The trees that stayed in one place built strong roots. Their barks grew solid. Their branches soared. And the little tree stayed little. Are you a little tree? A tree

1. We get to be pregnant, 2. We can cry and not get made fun of. 3. We can be emotional and blame it on that time of the month. 4. If we don't know anything about cars, it's okay. 5. We get to decorate our homes and can almost entirely ignore our other-half's input. 6. We got off the Titanic first. 7. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses. 8. Our boy friend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours. 9. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 10. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on their life insurance. 11. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 12. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 13. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the point). 14. Taxis stop for us. 15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 16. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 17. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.