Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

1. It tells you that everything you do will always leave a mark. 2. You can always correct the mistake you make. 3. The important thing in life is what you are from inside and not from out side. 4. In life you will undergo painful sharpening which will make you better in whatever you do. 5. Finally, to be the best you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee... A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effe

Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the guy ! 1. Why did you apply for this job? I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now. 2. Why do you want to work for this company? I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind. 3. Why should I hire you? You have to hire some one, you may give me a try. 4. What would you do if this happened? Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation... 5. What is your biggest strength? Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company 6. What is your biggest weakness? Girls 7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it? Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today 8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of? Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need

Three contractors . . . One from India, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior White House official takes them to examine it. The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me." The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: " $2,700." The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" "Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the gu

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day. The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is except Mike. When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?" "My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London, orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time." Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there. Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says,"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the *German hell* and asks, "What do they do here?" He told," First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the *USA** hell* as well as the *Russian hell *and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the *Indian hell* and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there