Time Pass: Funny, Humorous and Good Things

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL DILIP VENGSARKAR When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE BARA THEDA When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH PRINCESS DIANA When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN MONICA LEWINSKY When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you

After having failed his exam in "Logic and Law ", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. " Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?" Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?" Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and marrie

A gentleman was once visiting a temple under construction. In the temple premises, he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he saw, just a few meters away, another identical idol was lying. Surprised he asked the sculptor, do you need two statutes of the same idol. No said the sculptor. We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage. The gentleman examined the sculptor. No apparent damage was visible. Where is the damage asked the gentleman? There is a scratch on the nose of the idol. Where are you going to keep the idol? The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar 20 feet high. When the idol will be 20 feet away from the eyes of the beholder, who is going to know that there is scratch on the nose? The gentleman asked. The sculptor looked at the gentleman, smiled and said "The God knows it and I know it". The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not. Excellence is a drive from "insi

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan ! Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now , Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree . Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ... Caller: O h ....

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received. About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, The manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !" As expected, he got thrashing of his life time.... Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!!! :-)

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. SIX.. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and g