Perfection – Japanese attitude

Apparently the computer giant IBM decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project.

In the specifications, they set out that they will accept only three defective parts per 10,000.

When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter.

"We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment in a separate packaging clearly mentioned 'defective pieces' as required, not for use. Hope this pleases you."

A Jaguar dent

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."

With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.

It's our choice: Listen to the whisper ... or wait for the brick!

Funny English killers

Principal to student..." I saw you yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette?"

Class teacher once said: "Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

Once Hindi teacher said, "I'm going out of the world to America."

"DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK."

Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said, "Why is fan not oning?" (ing form of on)

Teacher in a furious mood: "Write down ur name and father of ur name!!"

"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

My manager started like this: "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind", said the professor and erased the board.

"Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

LIBRARIAN SCOLD, "IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us, "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father.

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code, "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class, "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away."

Productivity

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed. The mood was so bad.

My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high.

Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge.

If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told, "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man."

To this the sweet manager replied ............

"Sir ! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything."